Gotta Eat When Ya Can, Right?
by wardenlove
Summary: This is just a really dumb/poor attempt at me writing a GintamaxToriko crossover crack fic. I have no idea where I'm going with this but I hope along the way Toriko and Kagura form a bro/sis bond and eat lots of food and have arm wrestling matches. Thank and God bless.


Komatsu fidgeted in his seat between Zebra and Toriko. Never did he think he would ride a space ship, ever. Not only that, but they were going to visit old Earth.

From what he knew, the food on old Earth wasn't as multifaceted as the food back home, but it'd be an experience to partake in the varying cuisines there.

Naturally, Toriko was overly excited to try new food. He sat at the window seat with his face squished against the glass. Komatsu watched his partner bounce his knee excitedly.

"I can't wait to try the food there…" He said as he pressed his face harder against the glass.

"Would you calm down!" Zebra growled. Toriko continued to press his face into the window and absent-mindedly said:

"But I can't…"

Sunny was seated across the aisle with Coco and Rin. The three of them were better behaved; Coco was reading one of the space mall catalogues and Rin was eying Toriko as he continued to act like a small child. The trip was going to be about 10 hours long, but Komatsu was sure that being with all four kings would make the time fly by…

Unfortunately, he couldn't be any more off the mark. One by one, the Kings exhausted every possible subject for conversation and found themselves immensely bored within the first three hours.

"I suppose a nap is in order…" Coco said as he closed the catalogue and gave his traveling companions a gentle smile. Komatsu smiled back, but panicked on the inside. Toriko was acting extremely juvenile and Zebra and Sunny were irritable because of it. Who was going to be the other voice of reason? Komatsu looked to his left to see Toriko knocked out, with his head propped up by his hand and his mouth wide open. He snored fairly loud and Komatsu wondered why he didn't notice this sooner. He looked to his left and Zebra was purring softly in his sleep already.

"Zebra-san, weren't you…" Komatsu couldn't help but ask, and Zebra merely grumbled in his sleep as a response.

Each king was asleep now, and each one of them making their own distinct slumbering sounds. Rin had gotten up to use the bathroom during this time and Komatsu suddenly felt very lonely. He sighed heavily and watched the kings sleep for a short time. After about fifteen minutes, Rin returned.

"Komatsu, I thought you'd join them and take a short nap, too."

"Ah… I'm not too tired…" Komatsu said.

"Did you bring anything to read?" Rin asked as she pulled out a huge tome titled _1001 Ways to Get Ya Boy to Notice You. _Komatsu squinted hard to re-read the title to make sure he read it right.

"What is that you're reading…" He asked while raising his brows. Rin blushed and covered the book with her carry-on bag.

"Um…"

There was an awkward silence. It lasted quite some time until Toriko snorted really loudly in his sleep. Komatsu slumped in his seat and sighed yet again. He did bring two books with him, but they weren't particularly interesting. In his rush to pack, he picked up _Prince Hata: An Autobiography _and the manual to his new desktop computer. The autobiography was a poorly thought out birthday gift from Toriko. 'It's the thought that counts' Komatsu told himself, but he spoke too soon. On the inside cover, Toriko scrawled 'There was an octopus on the cover so I thought you'd like it. You like octopi, right?" Their friendship has been blossoming so nicely since the Puffer Whale arc and this man doesn't even know what kind of books he likes to read?!

Komatsu looked at his partner and smiled sheepishly. He was such a jerk sometimes, but he was still very admirable and kind. Sighing deeply, Komatsu pulled out the autobiography and opened it up to page 353 because… Let's be real, sometimes curiosity gets the better of us. Often times, Komatsu found himself reading this nonsense before bed after a long day at work or a stressful hunt with Toriko.

Before long, the space ship was landing in Edo of old Japan. The Kings woke up with a jolt and Rin blushed furiously as she shoved her strange self-help book back into her carry-on.

"Mother of God…" Komatsu said under his breath. He closed the Prince Hata book, completely in awe. He was astounded by the wonders of that man. How someone so stupid and useless could do so much!

Stretching and yawning like a huge bear, Toriko glanced at the book Komatsu still had in hand.

"Ah, Komatsu! So, you did like my gift!" He said with a big grin.

"Yeah… I learned to appreciate it." He said.

Not realizing what he meant, Toriko let out a huge guffaw and Komatsu swore he heard Rin sigh in delight in the background.

Shinpachi pulled out a stack of old Shonen JUMP from behind Gin's desk. They were at least a year old. Dust was starting to collect in a thin blanket on the top most volume. It was like Gintoki had his heart set on hoarding enough JUMP to build a house with. Shinpachi sighed as he took the stack of JUMP and the rest of the garbage outside. Kagura was on her way back from playing in the park with other neighborhood kids and Sadaharu was bounding down the street beside her.

"Patsuan!" Kagura called. Shinpachi stretched his back and cracked it.

"Yeah?" He said.

"I saw Son Goku at the train station today." She said happily. She chewed on some beef jerky while Shinpachi's face faulted.

"You can't be serious!" He said, "Isn't Goku supposed to be dead? Didn't he die at the end of Dragon Ball GT?"

"Maybe someone brought him back." Kagura said while picking her nose. Shinpachi laughed lightly and scratched the back of his head.

"Ahh, no but really… It was probably just some otaku cosplaying…" He said, slightly unsure of himself.

They both went upstairs to find Gintoki sitting at his desk with his bare feet propped on top of it.

"Oi, Shinpachi-kun, do you know where my JUMP went? The whole Water 7 saga is in there. You know I can't afford to buy the actual manga…"

"Oh, I just took it down to the trash…"

Getting up suddenly, Gintoki stood by the window and opened it up violently. He jut his head out to take a look at the alley way. The JUMP was still down there, thankfully.

"The garbage collector didn't get it yet, go bring it back!" He whined.

"All right, all right!" Shinpachi said. He went back outside to see Sadaharu lifting his leg to pee on the garbage. "Sadaharu, no!" He jumped from the top of the stairway only to crash into Sadaharu's fluffy body and get piss all over himself. But the stack of JUMP was fine.

Gin and Kagura watched from the window and cackled at Shinpachi's misfortune.

"Thanks, Patsuan." Gin said with a devil's grin. Shinpachi grumbled curses under his breath as he went back inside.

"Take your stupid JUMP." He shouted and he threw the stack right into Gintoki's face. "I'm taking a bath…"

"You better!" Kagura yelled while holding her nose. She plopped down onto one of the couches and started to snack on a pile of food she took from the fridge. With a bleeding nose, Gin took out a carton of strawberry milk and got comfortable at his desk.

A few moments passed before there was someone at their door. The bell rang and no one jumped up to answer it.

"Sorry to bother you, but I was told this was where I could find Odd Jobs Gin-chan…" A deep voice said. Kagura got up to open the door. She let out a shriek when she saw who was there.

"It's …It's GOKU!" She yelled. Gin jumped out of his seat and ambled across the room only to straighten up in disappointment once he reached the doorway.

"Kagura-chan… This isn't Goku…" He said.

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about." the customer said.

"Don't worry about it." Gin said. "Come inside and tell us what you need."

The customer had four other people with them. Out of the five people, only one of them was relatively normal sized, and even still he was fairly short even compared to Gintoki. As the four large men and their smaller companion sat down in the main room, it finally hit Gintoki…

"Do I start from the beginning?" the blue haired man asked. His friends looked at him with varying exasperated expressions.

"Just tell him!" the most effeminate of the five said. His hair flared out with his slight anger. Kagura sat across from them, looking rather fascinated by them all. Even the small guy…

"Well, we were leaving the terminal at the center of Edo and…"

Gintoki's selective hearing kicked in and he tuned out everything. Mouths were moving, and the girly-guy got annoyed again and his hair did some crazy shit. Gin nodded but he felt his blood boiling with excitement.

'These guys are famous… they're gourmet hunters!' He thought and he gulped hard. 'And that little man with them is a famous chef…' Gin was used to famous people showing up from time to time, and he even had his share of the shogun dropping in (at the most inopportune moments…) But it was still astounding to have The Four Heavenly Kings walk into his home.

"…And then I turn around and she's gone. I mean really, you'd think she'd stay with the group since Toriko's here." Sunny said and he scoffed. He didn't even need to flip his hair, it flipped it's own self.

"I used my echolocation and we still can't find that broad." Zebra groaned.

"Honestly, sniffing her out has proven to be rather difficult, too." Toriko sighed.

"Her electromagnetic waves are too faint for me to track her…" Coco sounded a little dejected. The three kings looked to Sunny. He gave them a blank look.

"What? I'm not using my feelers in this disgustin' place!"

"But Sunny! This is your sister we're talking about!" Komatsu cried. The five of them had a shouting match while Gin watched them with the stupidest look on his face.

"Gin-chan, what's with that grin?" Kagura asked. He suddenly threw himself to the floor and Five Guys Burgers and Fries stopped what they were doing to look at him.

"Please! If we find your friend, will you please let me eat delicious parfaits from your gourmet age planet!" Gintoki cried. "I'm sure there are pink cows there that make strawberry milk! Please send me one as payment. Just give me all the sweets you can!"

"What the fuck." Zebra said.

"I don't know about pink cows, but ok." Toriko laughed to himself. Coco, Sunny, and Komatsu exchanged confused glances.

"Get out of that disgracef'l position, you mongrel." Sunny scoffed. "We can't pay you if you act disgustingly." Gin jumped up immediately and dusted off his kimono.

"Right. Sorry about that. Let's get going and find your friend. What was her name?" Gintoki asked. Shinpachi, in the background stepped out of the bathroom and screeched. Zebra shot him a death glare and nearly killed the poor boy.

"Her name's Rin. Weren't you paying attention to our story at all?" Toriko said.

"Let's get going." Gintoki repeated, dodging the question. "We've got friends all over this town, we can find her before dark."

"Wait, who are these people?! They look like criminals!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Well, Zebra is an ex-con…" Coco said rather matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

The Kings and Komatsu were on their way out of the room, and Gintoki was right behind them, nearly shoving Komatsu into Zebra's ass. Kagura followed after with snacks in hand, and Shinpachi scrambled to put his socks and sandals on to join them.


End file.
